San Diego State University Relationship Responses Discussion

Once you have written your paragraphs, you are to respond to two of your peers’ paragraphs in at least 100 words each.In your reply, respond to all 5 parts in your peer’s initial post,making sure to explain what you relate to and your judgment about yourpeer’s experience with their friends and family.

classmate 1 :

1. I do notlive with my family now and haven’t for several years, but growing up Ifeel that my role in my immediate family was the distractor. I wouldalways “make random, irrelevant comments so that the rest of the familywill forget about the conflict”. I feel that I have played several roleswith my immediate and extended family. The three that I know I haveplayed before are the blamer, still to this day I am working on takingthe blame for things that I do or say wrong. The placater, I do not likeconflict and sometimes will do or say anything to keep the peace. Thelast one is the distractor and as I mentioned above, I do not likeconflicts and would sometimes just say random things to distract myfamily from fighting. I feel that my older sisters’ role is thecomputer, she seems to use logic and reasoning to defuse a situation andnot her emotions.
2. With myintimate relationship with my boyfriend I invest a lot of my time. I domost of the grocery shopping, cooking, and all of the cleaning. Withboth of my sisters we also invest in our time. We are all there for eachother when we need each other. I think that people have differentstandards of investments that are expected from romantic relationshipsand from family relationships. I feel that with families it is just agiven and comes naturally what you invest in and what you expect them toinvest in the relationship. In romantic relationships this might haveto be a discussion that you two have so that both partners feel thatthey are both investing equally. The book explains that when partnersfeel that they are both investing the same amount in the relationship,they are the happiest. If someone feels that they are investing morethan the other in a relationship, they might feel resentful towardsthem. “The most satisfying intimate relationships appear to be those inwhich both parties are investing equally.”
3. Relationships are tough, no two peoplewill think alike 100% of the time. Since we are all different andunique, we all have different opinions and sometimes when we voice ourdifferent opinions conflict can arise. Being able to think positivelycan ease tension between two people, and this can help keep a stable andsatisfying relationship. It states in the book that if someoneexpresses negativity to you, then you identify with that negativeemotion. So I would think the same goes with positivity. I would feelthat for someone to view their relationship with someone as satisfying,that there must be a lot of positivity between the two.

Classmate 2 :

1- The role I play in my family is helping with household activities. For instance, when I am around, I must take out the trash and accompany my siblings in doing shopping. When I look at the roles I play in my immediate family and extended family, they differ. As mentioned, I am responsible for fulfilling the allocated chores, which contributes to healthier family functioning. However, my extended family’s role is attending arranged ceremonies and visiting relatives occasionally. Since every family has unique values and ways of doing their activities, it can be challenging for me to assume roles in the extended family. Nevertheless, other members of my family support one another in completing designated tasks. For example, my siblings must support my mother in preparing dinner and tidying up the house. Generally, cooperation, discipline, and teamwork are some of the core values that help in strengthening our family bond.

2- Further, I acknowledge that investing in intimaterelationships enhance the level of commitment between the parties. In mycase, I invest my time and resources to show appreciation to mypartner. Taking measures like buying gifts and taking time to listen andshare views on a troubling issue or significant decisions are some ofthe ways that I invest in my relationship. Generally, these investmentsdiffer from those in familial relationships based on the goals set ineach. For intimate partners, the investments made aim to enhance thelevel of commitment. With time, this leads to creating a new familybased on the marriage arrangement agreed upon, whether regulated by law,mutual agreement, or customs. However, in family investments, theyfocus on enhancing the kinship relations, thus strengthening the familysystem through activities like nurturance and skill development amongthe family members.

3- In addition, I think positivity is essential for stableand satisfying relationships because they reduce the adverse effects ofconflict when the partners fail to show gratitude, forgiveness, andsupport. The positivity helps in building a strong relationshipcontributed by good communication styles and affection for one another.Furthermore, positivity is essential because it improves the partners’overall well-being due to the ability to understand their challenges andidentifying solutions collectively with minimal stress.